December 23, 2013
The Ghetto...Photo Edition
Here is my new area, us building a house the other day, and making pizza today
December 16, 2013
The Ghetto Report, Ed 16 Dec 2013
Well as you can guess from the name of this email folks, I have been changed out of my beloved jungle home in Copan ruinas for Cofradia. I am thirty minutes west of San Pedro Sula and in a city now. In fact there isn't a single sinking hill in this whole place. Or jungle for that matter.
As Pappy Dester told me he was moving me from a jungle into a different one. Yeah so I now have to totally try to adjust to the fact that not everyone is poor and everyone has electricity in their houses. We even have a cook who cooks us lunch which is a huge change from the fact that I only ever got black beans and tortillas that I helped make. Yup that is right, I now have mastered making corn tortillas by hand.
So when I told some of the members here what my last area was like they were very sorry for me and have now vowed to make sure that I get to try all the different foods of Honduras. Which means I don't have to buy food for a while. Yesterday I got cow stomach stew which actually was really good. Our cook owns a butcher shop so we get some good food I just make sure not to watch how they butcher it.
Let's just say that if you ever read the book The Jungle well it ain't got nothing on Honduras. The other day I saw a guy with a tiny motorcycle with a sidecar driving a dead cow to the butcher shop. Yeah the cow was sitting in the side car but it was way too huge for this bike and was dragging on the nasty road. But hey my stomach stew was good so I ain't complaining.
So just for all of you who are wondering how big the cockroaches are, imagine about the size of a silver dollar and about got it...only thing is that they are quick little buggers and like to attack you in the bathroom in the morning right as you are blurry eyed and are very ineffective at attacking back. Stupid cockroaches. But hey I guess they have to make a living.
Also one thing that is really funny is that at night the road that we have to take back to our house has got like ten or so drag-queen prostitutes who always cat call at us as we walk by. So yeah we aren't in Kansas no more. So my new comp is Elder Canterero. He is a Guanaco and has about 15 months on his mission. the good news is that he likes to work hard so we are like pigs in mud out here. Well that is about all that has happened here in the land of Honduras. Thanks for all the emails and love. Love you guys,
Mike
As Pappy Dester told me he was moving me from a jungle into a different one. Yeah so I now have to totally try to adjust to the fact that not everyone is poor and everyone has electricity in their houses. We even have a cook who cooks us lunch which is a huge change from the fact that I only ever got black beans and tortillas that I helped make. Yup that is right, I now have mastered making corn tortillas by hand.
So when I told some of the members here what my last area was like they were very sorry for me and have now vowed to make sure that I get to try all the different foods of Honduras. Which means I don't have to buy food for a while. Yesterday I got cow stomach stew which actually was really good. Our cook owns a butcher shop so we get some good food I just make sure not to watch how they butcher it.
Let's just say that if you ever read the book The Jungle well it ain't got nothing on Honduras. The other day I saw a guy with a tiny motorcycle with a sidecar driving a dead cow to the butcher shop. Yeah the cow was sitting in the side car but it was way too huge for this bike and was dragging on the nasty road. But hey my stomach stew was good so I ain't complaining.
So just for all of you who are wondering how big the cockroaches are, imagine about the size of a silver dollar and about got it...only thing is that they are quick little buggers and like to attack you in the bathroom in the morning right as you are blurry eyed and are very ineffective at attacking back. Stupid cockroaches. But hey I guess they have to make a living.
Also one thing that is really funny is that at night the road that we have to take back to our house has got like ten or so drag-queen prostitutes who always cat call at us as we walk by. So yeah we aren't in Kansas no more. So my new comp is Elder Canterero. He is a Guanaco and has about 15 months on his mission. the good news is that he likes to work hard so we are like pigs in mud out here. Well that is about all that has happened here in the land of Honduras. Thanks for all the emails and love. Love you guys,
Mike
December 9, 2013
The Jungle Report, Ed 9 Dec 2013
Well my good fan club, just so you know this may be the last Jungle Report as in that is right, I have changes for the first time. I may end up not in the jungle but I am for sure still taking my machete with me. There ain't no way that I am leaving the machete behind. That tool has served me well.
So the good news is that it took all of like five minutes to pack and I am now just trying to not have anything left behind. We have been teaching some really good gators and that is going to be a little hard to just hand them over to some schmuck that I don't know. but I guess that is where the whole principle of faith comes in. I know that God needs me in another pueblo and with another companion so that we can just tear up the work and help as many short catrachos as we can.
The big news is that I have been working my butt off to get as many of our lost sheep back and going to church and it seems to be paying off here since yesterday we had a whopping seven of them that came to church. It is getting really nice to see what happens when you work your butt off and sweat a whole freaking lot.
Well yesterday we showed these Lamanites the Christmas Devotional that none of them had ever seen (http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/archive/christmas-devotional/2013/12?lang=eng) for those of you who don't know what the heck I am talking about.
But now it is time to answer some of your questions. Number one, Jack I am working on infiltrating a drug cartel here but as it turns out I am really white and taller than everyone so I stick out really badly. But I will keep you updated on that you dang Jersey Boy. Oh by the way, the first person I ended up trying to talk to down here, Jack, was from Jersey. Yeah I can't even escape those stinking Jersey kids here either. Another thing, as an avid LA Angels fan I though that I would escape the iron curtain of the Yankees here in Honduras too. Wrong again. They are still here. Catrachos are the worst band wagon jumpers ever. And they have the funniest t-shirts and hats ever.
So if you guys ever want to get any hat for any college national championship game that has the wrong team as the winners then hey I can hook you up. Hahahahaha. Well next week you will be able to hear from what area I am reassigned to. Mom I won't know how I can call or Skype you guys until then so I will say this once...stop freaking out I am working on it but being in a third world country doesn't speed up the process and if you are freaking out all that does is make more grey hairs. Love you all and make sure to have a great Christmas. Loves,
Mike
So the good news is that it took all of like five minutes to pack and I am now just trying to not have anything left behind. We have been teaching some really good gators and that is going to be a little hard to just hand them over to some schmuck that I don't know. but I guess that is where the whole principle of faith comes in. I know that God needs me in another pueblo and with another companion so that we can just tear up the work and help as many short catrachos as we can.
The big news is that I have been working my butt off to get as many of our lost sheep back and going to church and it seems to be paying off here since yesterday we had a whopping seven of them that came to church. It is getting really nice to see what happens when you work your butt off and sweat a whole freaking lot.
Well yesterday we showed these Lamanites the Christmas Devotional that none of them had ever seen (http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/archive/christmas-devotional/2013/12?lang=eng) for those of you who don't know what the heck I am talking about.
But now it is time to answer some of your questions. Number one, Jack I am working on infiltrating a drug cartel here but as it turns out I am really white and taller than everyone so I stick out really badly. But I will keep you updated on that you dang Jersey Boy. Oh by the way, the first person I ended up trying to talk to down here, Jack, was from Jersey. Yeah I can't even escape those stinking Jersey kids here either. Another thing, as an avid LA Angels fan I though that I would escape the iron curtain of the Yankees here in Honduras too. Wrong again. They are still here. Catrachos are the worst band wagon jumpers ever. And they have the funniest t-shirts and hats ever.
So if you guys ever want to get any hat for any college national championship game that has the wrong team as the winners then hey I can hook you up. Hahahahaha. Well next week you will be able to hear from what area I am reassigned to. Mom I won't know how I can call or Skype you guys until then so I will say this once...stop freaking out I am working on it but being in a third world country doesn't speed up the process and if you are freaking out all that does is make more grey hairs. Love you all and make sure to have a great Christmas. Loves,
Mike
December 2, 2013
The Jungle Report, Ed 2 Dec 2013
Well this week has been a really strange one. We finally got out of the house and were able to get back to work. So the first bit of news, Turkey Day sucks without a turkey or people to celebrate it with or anything. It was really sad and boring actually. Then we just kept working and working and working. but we did get some hot boy pics with a turkey as you all got to see. Well after the most depressing Turkey Day ever we got back to work and now have a full carpeta with gators who are interested in the Gospel.
Let's see not a whole lot happened this week. We did have another baptism and it was pretty good. So this whole time here has been about 60 degrees and everyone is freezing here. It is so funny cause I am loving it. I haven't sweat all week and it is amazing! But there are lots of sick people here because they are not used to this cold. Yeah that I find is sad. Then they call me crazy because I happen to be wearing a short sleeve shirt and am hot still. Well that is catrachos for you. Well there really isn't a whole lot to talk about this week but I will keep you updated on the adventures for sure. Well it's time to go adventure in the jungle of Copan Ruinas. See ya next week,
Mike
Let's see not a whole lot happened this week. We did have another baptism and it was pretty good. So this whole time here has been about 60 degrees and everyone is freezing here. It is so funny cause I am loving it. I haven't sweat all week and it is amazing! But there are lots of sick people here because they are not used to this cold. Yeah that I find is sad. Then they call me crazy because I happen to be wearing a short sleeve shirt and am hot still. Well that is catrachos for you. Well there really isn't a whole lot to talk about this week but I will keep you updated on the adventures for sure. Well it's time to go adventure in the jungle of Copan Ruinas. See ya next week,
Mike
November 26, 2013
The Jungle Report, Ed 26 Nov 2013
Well as you have all probably figured out I am still alive so yay! Even though I know that some of you probably bet against me (I know who you were and I will hunt you down and get my vengeance when you least expect it). In other good news the extreme socialist Libre party didn't win the elections and this is a really good thing. The new president is Juan Orlando and we will have to see how good of a job he does otherwise there might be a lot of civil unrest.
In other news you would not believe how boring it gets being trapped in a house without any other human contact aside from my companion you really get bored really fast and then you find out a whole heck of a lot about the other person. A LOT about the other person. Then you just stare at a wall for about an hour. Then take a nap and wake up and realize that that only burned about twenty minutes. Then you build a fireplace and have a fire and roast marshmallows and sweat a whole heck of a lot because you have a fire in a tropical environment. yeah kinda sucks but tasted pretty good.
And then we had that whole hour of just sitting silently and staring into the fire and just poking it with a stick...aka a total male bonding experience. Yeah we grew close as a companionship. Then we deep cleaned everything in the house and even cloroxed everything in there and killed every living creepy crawly that was in the house. And after we did everything that we could think of it was then that we realized that it was only 2 in the afternoon of the first day of a three day imprisonment in the house.
Let's just say that we were so stinking bored it wasn't even funny. I don't even have any cool stories other than that we ound out that if you are really bored and can't leave the house that time drags on FOREVER!!! Well it is good to know that I finally have decided that if I was to be a world class criminal that I would have to be good at it so I never have to go to jail because I would be horribly bored in prison. Well that is really all that happened this week. Sorry it is so boring, but now you know how I felt in the house for three days. I loves you all,
Mike
In other news you would not believe how boring it gets being trapped in a house without any other human contact aside from my companion you really get bored really fast and then you find out a whole heck of a lot about the other person. A LOT about the other person. Then you just stare at a wall for about an hour. Then take a nap and wake up and realize that that only burned about twenty minutes. Then you build a fireplace and have a fire and roast marshmallows and sweat a whole heck of a lot because you have a fire in a tropical environment. yeah kinda sucks but tasted pretty good.
And then we had that whole hour of just sitting silently and staring into the fire and just poking it with a stick...aka a total male bonding experience. Yeah we grew close as a companionship. Then we deep cleaned everything in the house and even cloroxed everything in there and killed every living creepy crawly that was in the house. And after we did everything that we could think of it was then that we realized that it was only 2 in the afternoon of the first day of a three day imprisonment in the house.
Let's just say that we were so stinking bored it wasn't even funny. I don't even have any cool stories other than that we ound out that if you are really bored and can't leave the house that time drags on FOREVER!!! Well it is good to know that I finally have decided that if I was to be a world class criminal that I would have to be good at it so I never have to go to jail because I would be horribly bored in prison. Well that is really all that happened this week. Sorry it is so boring, but now you know how I felt in the house for three days. I loves you all,
Mike
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