February 3, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 3 Feb 2014

Well where should we begin... So this last week was really fast just like every other week before. So we have been working a whole ton this week just helping the work here progress and that has been meaning a whole lot of service. So this week has included cutting up a whole heck of a ton of wood with a machete and a really crappy ax. There was a ton of getting our hands all cut up by the hand made wood handles for the tools. But we will live don't worry.
Other than that let's see this week we have been really just working every day and having as much fun as we can. We had a game of soccer and turns out I apparently am "sin miedo" because I just run in front of every ball that is kicked and basically attacking everyone. Well the sad news (saw it coming) is that the NFL is a joke now from all my reports from the homeland. Good thing we still have college or else it would be a waste of everything that AMERICA stands for.
So down here in the jungle the temps are getting really hot again...YEAH FOR SWEATY ELDERS! Well other than that we have changes this Wednesday so we will see if I am still here in Cofradia or what exactly happens. The word on the street is I will still be here but there have been stranger things to happen before. Well that is about all for this week in the life of a jungle missionary. Until the next adventure,

Mike

January 27, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 27 Ene 2014

Well let's get right on to it shall we friends. Okay this week went by super fast. So we started the week having our interviews with President "Pappy" Dester. These were just to see how we are all doing in the mission and how he can help us. Mine was super short in which I was literally told that he is thankful that he has me as a missionary whom he trusts and can send any companion to and they will end up being better afterward. Then he said that I don't need to worry that doesn't mean he will just be giving me crappy companions one right after the other.
But it is really nice to see that man. He is such a spiritual giant and honestly I just always feel so much better every time that I talk with him. he has a way to make you feel that you want to be better because you are able to just feel the love that he has for you. So that was a Tuesday (wow that word just looks so weird to me. I have been using the word Martes to mean that for so long, but whatever I guess.)
Back to my letter, then on Jueves was a meeting with Elder Ochoa of the Presidency of the Quorum of the Seventy was here to talk with us. Once again we got delivered the gran machete de amor. Pero despues my companion and I just got back to the work and just started tearing up the work here.
We had a whopping twenty five investigators at church this last Sunday and all of them were complete families who are just super enthused to receive the message we have. Really strange that I have learned here in the far reaches of Honduras is that this Gospel literally has the ability to help people, no matter in what part of their lives, single, families, widowed, everything. This Gospel helps. That is what I have been just loving to see and feel, the good that has been coming to people's lives here in the jungles.
So this last week we have been building a house as a service project. Yeah, me, an uncertified gringo is allowed to build houses that people live in. Pretty sketch if you ask me. So it is a little shack to say the least. not made of mud this time but a complete firehazard. The wood that they gave us is called "ocote" which is a type of wood that naturally is just soaked with sap and literally bursts into flames when any type of match is even close to it.
So yeah...I guess you could say I just built a death sentence for a family. But at least they can hide from the rain right before they burst into flames. Well that is about all that there is to inform on this week. Just know that I am doing well and attacking the work every day. Can't wait to hear from you guys soon,

Mike

January 20, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 20 Ene 2014

Well well well adoring fans,

Here we are again with the weekly report of my adventures here in Honduras. Well where to begin? So this week has been super fast and well now I am here in an internet cafe with a bunch of stinking little Honduran children staring over my shoulder as I write this.
So this week our big focus as a companionship was to do service and attack the work from that aspect. So we actually accomplished that really well as our service projects ended up giving us a lot of new gators to talk with. These projects included, but are not limited to, building a new house completely out of mud (yup 3 little pigs style with sticks and mud), chopping weeds in a two acre plot of land by hand with a machete and chopping down trees with really REALLY dull axes. It was really funny to see all the stinking catrachos stare as I just hacked up this tree way faster than they could because I just have more power than they do.
So we just made a lot of people's days when we showed up and just are powering through all their chores in only part of the time it would have taken them to do it. Other than that we were just on fire and teaching all week. We are just on fire in this area so now we just have to keep feeding the fire with more work. My companion is super excited to actually be making a difference again and we are just working like studs.
So my area here, Cofradia, is about 30 minutes outside of San Pedro and is really just a small little suburb type town. But this suburb just stretches on for like EVER in every direction. We are walking all the time just to get to our areas. Our area is so big that we have to start taking buses early in the morning all the way at the far reaches and then just start walking and teaching all the way back until we are in for the night at home. But it is really fun, I enjoy the crap out of it here. It is a whole lot different than Copan though.
One big difference is in the types of beans they eat (no really they make a huge deal over that here) apparently Copan is the backwoods bojangled area of Honduras that everyone makes fun of because, get ready for it...they eat black beans in Copan. Everywhere else eats red beans. Now just to set the record straight...they taste EXACTLY THE SAME!!!! But here as soon as you start talking about black beans they see you as a backwoods, wearing bib overalls without a shirt or shoes, missing most of your teeth, playing the banjo and making moonshine hillbilly. (DISCLAIMER---if this resembles you at all, I am sorry (cough, cough, Zeke))
Well now that really is one "huge" difference of my new area. Oh that and this place is completely flat. Not a single hill in all of my area. The exact opposite of my last area which was in the mountains. Well that is enough of the strange Honduran chambre for now. Oh other than this. Get this, the Beck girl who served a mission, yeah the next door neighbor Beck girl, served here and they all want her to know that they still remember her. Well that's all keep up the good work, or not, what do I care. Well loves you all and have fun this week. Have an adventure.

Mike

January 13, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 13 Ene 2014

Well hi there all you amazing Americans!

So this week en el chambre...so things have turned out really great with my new companion. So President Dester really is a stud and receives revelation. So Elder Giron has been a blessing in disguise for me. He has taught me that I was thinking all wrong with him, I didn't need to break him at all in that sense. Turns out he just needed an example and someone who would love and trust him.
So the first two days we didn't talk really at all until I finally had a "Come To Jesus" meeting (copyright to Kandi Duff for the name) and basically told him that "hey we are here to work and I don't care what you have done but it's what you are going to do that concerns me. I trust you completely, now let's go to work." And honestly that is really what he has needed it seems. Cause now we are on fire. We have planned for the first of Feb a Super Baptism with so far 6 to 7 gators who all accepted and are super stoked for this baptism so we have our hands full.
We have been doing a whole heck of a ton of service lately and so my hands are all ripped up and stuff but hey it is getting a lot of trust with the people here who have then been way more willing to listen to us and let us try to help them. Well as you all probably want to know life here is super fun every day as we are progressing and pushing the work forward.
My saying that my new comp has taken and we are running with is to Attack the Work everyday. We have been going and working hard every single day and it seems to be paying off. Now the trick is to keep pushing forward while it is working. Well that is about all the stuff I have for today. Thanks for all the love and emails. Until next week,

Mike

January 6, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 6 Enero 2014

Well fan club how are all of you guys? I hope well. So let's get right to it shall we. So turns out I have some really strange news to report. That is that my mission president apparently really trusts me. So I have officially been given a position as official mission "missionary breaker."
So I now have a different companion because he was having problems with women in his area and I am supposed to break him...con amor. Yeah so yesterday was our first day and let's just say that he is now in a new world...my world! Hahahaha! That seems really evil sounding but I have to make him find why he is here again and right now he is just needing to break first then get built up again.
So this last Saturday we had four baptisms and then right after we found out about the emergency changes for Sunday. And now I have Elder Giron as a comp. Well we will see what happens from here. Well that is about all I have to report today in the Report. Hope to hear from you all soon. I just have to get back to work and destroy...I mean help my companion. Well see you later.

Mike

December 30, 2013

The Jungle...I Mean Ghetto Report, Ed 30 Dec 2013

Yeah well here we are again adoring fan club. The weekly update. So this last week as many of you notices, was Christmas. Which for catrachos (that is what Hondurans call themselves) means that you get really drunk the 24th and stay up all night listening to ranchero music and blowing up fireworks...for Jesus. Yeah a little different to say the least. Not to mention that these "fireworks" are basically explosives. I mean what costs 50 cents American green back is literally a stick of dynamite with a pony sticker to make show that it is for kids. Yeah so it was a long night without being able to sleep.
And then there was the 25th. Literal ghost town. There was nothing open or anyone awake (except for missionaries) until close to 2 in the afternoon. Yeah they party pretty hard and then just don't care for the rest of the week after.
So as my family will attest, Honduras and its technical abilities are lacking to say the least. But we finally were able to get to Skype and talk with all of them. Yes I have missed you all but you are all the same crazy family I remember and love. Then after we went back to the work.
So this Saturday we had three more baptisms and are just rocking it here. This Sunday we had a whopping 12 investigators at church and 14 less actives who came back from our area that we had been teaching. The work here in Cofradia is just on fire right now and so now our approach is to just keep working harder and feed the flames. Elder Canterero is just a stud and we are just having fun every day as we keep up the work and keep attacking the work.
Some stories from the week...well so there were these fireworks that one investigator gave us. As in a whole ton of fireworks. Let's just say the other elders in our house had a fun time in the bathroom when one of those slid under the door. And then we watched a bum fight that was broken up when a little kid shot a Roman Candle at them and the alcohol that was spilled on their clothes started on fire.
So all around a Christmas season to remember to say the least. Well that is about all that there is to have in this week's update. Remember I love you all, even those from New Jersey.

Mike

December 23, 2013

The Ghetto Report, Ed 23 Dec 2013

Well adoring fans as you can see it is a very green Christmas here in the humid tropical region that is called Honduras with the temperatures being around mid 80s to low 90s this week and next week too. Way too much fun. But we still have fun.
As you can see we built a house so that is always way too much fun. My saying here is to have an adventure a day and that is what we have been doing. My new comp is a total stud and we have been just tearing up the work here and having fun too. Now for all of you people who have tons of questions I will be answering them. No, my address hasn't changed. That is the mission home address and they send the mail to me because no one here has actual mail addresses really.
So this week has been really crazy with all the Christmas build up and the people all being in their happy (alcohol filled) state giving us a ton of stuff from cake to free rides and everything in between. And there is the fact that there are a crap ton of transvestites that just make everything hilarious. Well there isn't really a ton to tell, just getting ready for the holiday and trying to listen to as much Christmas music as we can. Well I love you all and will be thinking of you this Christmas.

Mike