September 1, 2014

The Report From the Fork in the Road, Ed 1 Sep 2014

Well fan club,

Another week has come and gone and I am yet here to tell you the most amazing/appropriate of my adventures. So to begin this week went like RIDICULOUSLY fast! As in way too fast. And yet so many great things happened this week. Where to begin...? Oh yes! So we went to work hard this week and have been helping all our amazing gators progress towards being baptized. So this Saturday we have 2 baptisms! They are all ready and stoked for it but I won't count my eggs just yet so you aren't going to hear more about them. But they are boss!

Well this week happened to be a great feat that I have accomplished. Yes folks this week I achieved the "YAY! I survived 22 years on Earth!" award. It was this last Wednesday. For all of you who voted that I wouldn't make it this far, I am ashamed to know you. But as Christ's Gospel teaches there is a time to repent. And that time is now. I will be expecting your boxes of "I am sorry that I doubted you" in the mail within the week. But on this Wednesday we did what every single person wants to do on your birthday, we had an eight hour meeting with our boss., right? SO this week we had a meeting with el Elder Alonso who came to capacitate (not sure what he means by this) us. Best part, it was EIGHT HOURS LONG. And the worst part is, well you all can guess I am sure. SO it was an amazing time and we learned a whole lot about saving the lost souls and bringing them in unto the fold. Really great. Only el Elder Alonso has a very direct teaching style. He is straight to the point and doesn't care if you get trucked in the way. Learned a whole crap ton from that meeting. I learned that at about hour three if you look out the East window you will see the very top of the mall from el Benque. Yeah it was a long time. He did drop some hammers on some certain traits that he isn't too fond of that some missionaries have. And at the end the part I loved best was when our mission president got up, Pappy Dester as we fondly call him, and shared what he had been thinking about. He is just such an amazing man. Every single time that he talks I can feel the love that he has for our Savior and us. Just amazing. Mark my words, Pres. James Dester will be an Apostle one day, just wait. And yes for all you other missionaries I throw out this challenge...well MY mission president can beat up your mission president.

On a less childlike note, after the meeting we had such a great time. So we went as a district to McDonald's to get an ice cream treat. Well our DL, Elder Bingham, is one quarter Korean. Well we were there eating when in walked this REAL Korean family. Bingham was like a little kid in a candy store. Now I know what you are thinking, he totally goes up and talks to them. Well you thought wrong. He was too scared to "talk to REAL Asians" so after hounding him, he finally got the nerves to get up and talk to them. His tactic was a little different but he gets points for creativity. So he went and after a little dance to be in the way of the Korean girl so she couldn't throw away her trash, he talked to her. Well seeing as how he doesn't speak Korean and she doesn't speak English, this awkward distant relative reunion was in Spanish. It consisted of "'re from Korea, right?" "Yeah..." "Oh, cool! Well see ya!" Just the definition of awkward.

The rest of this week was just as great as we got back to work and just ran into some really...unique people. Like one man who told us that the church he was in was founding, get this, BY Martin Luther (the German monk) IN Honduras, 200 years BEFORE Christ. We just sat there and stared at him for a good long while. Then we just walked to our other citas that we had. Another thing that happened was that we ran into this gay clown guy who was hitting on my companion. This was a new thing for my companion and so his face was priceless. Just priceless. Hahahahaha! Nothing better than a gay clown hitting on you in another language. Just indescribable.

Then what other things happened...oh this family gave me a birthday dinner of rice, beans, and tortillas...I just know that my father is dying laughing right now...and then turns out that they have a tradition of when it is your birthday they just attack you with water. I was thus soaked from an ambush of water. But in the end it was a hot night anyway so it was all good. I still managed to get revenge and attack them with water too! Winning I say, winning.

Well that is all that really happened this week. I will make sure to tell you if I have changes this week. I love you all and am super jealous that you have football season. Loves ya and see ya next week,


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