December 30, 2013

The Jungle...I Mean Ghetto Report, Ed 30 Dec 2013

Yeah well here we are again adoring fan club. The weekly update. So this last week as many of you notices, was Christmas. Which for catrachos (that is what Hondurans call themselves) means that you get really drunk the 24th and stay up all night listening to ranchero music and blowing up fireworks...for Jesus. Yeah a little different to say the least. Not to mention that these "fireworks" are basically explosives. I mean what costs 50 cents American green back is literally a stick of dynamite with a pony sticker to make show that it is for kids. Yeah so it was a long night without being able to sleep.
And then there was the 25th. Literal ghost town. There was nothing open or anyone awake (except for missionaries) until close to 2 in the afternoon. Yeah they party pretty hard and then just don't care for the rest of the week after.
So as my family will attest, Honduras and its technical abilities are lacking to say the least. But we finally were able to get to Skype and talk with all of them. Yes I have missed you all but you are all the same crazy family I remember and love. Then after we went back to the work.
So this Saturday we had three more baptisms and are just rocking it here. This Sunday we had a whopping 12 investigators at church and 14 less actives who came back from our area that we had been teaching. The work here in Cofradia is just on fire right now and so now our approach is to just keep working harder and feed the flames. Elder Canterero is just a stud and we are just having fun every day as we keep up the work and keep attacking the work.
Some stories from the week...well so there were these fireworks that one investigator gave us. As in a whole ton of fireworks. Let's just say the other elders in our house had a fun time in the bathroom when one of those slid under the door. And then we watched a bum fight that was broken up when a little kid shot a Roman Candle at them and the alcohol that was spilled on their clothes started on fire.
So all around a Christmas season to remember to say the least. Well that is about all that there is to have in this week's update. Remember I love you all, even those from New Jersey.


December 23, 2013

The Ghetto Report, Ed 23 Dec 2013

Well adoring fans as you can see it is a very green Christmas here in the humid tropical region that is called Honduras with the temperatures being around mid 80s to low 90s this week and next week too. Way too much fun. But we still have fun.
As you can see we built a house so that is always way too much fun. My saying here is to have an adventure a day and that is what we have been doing. My new comp is a total stud and we have been just tearing up the work here and having fun too. Now for all of you people who have tons of questions I will be answering them. No, my address hasn't changed. That is the mission home address and they send the mail to me because no one here has actual mail addresses really.
So this week has been really crazy with all the Christmas build up and the people all being in their happy (alcohol filled) state giving us a ton of stuff from cake to free rides and everything in between. And there is the fact that there are a crap ton of transvestites that just make everything hilarious. Well there isn't really a ton to tell, just getting ready for the holiday and trying to listen to as much Christmas music as we can. Well I love you all and will be thinking of you this Christmas.


The Ghetto...Photo Edition

Here is my new area, us building a house the other day, and making pizza today

December 16, 2013

The Ghetto Report, Ed 16 Dec 2013

Well as you can guess from the name of this email folks, I have been changed out of my beloved jungle home in Copan ruinas for Cofradia. I am thirty minutes west of San Pedro Sula and in a city now. In fact there isn't a single sinking hill in this whole place. Or jungle for that matter.
As Pappy Dester told me he was moving me from a jungle into a different one. Yeah so I now have to totally try to adjust to the fact that not everyone is poor and everyone has electricity in their houses. We even have a cook who cooks us lunch which is a huge change from the fact that I only ever got black beans and tortillas that I helped make. Yup that is right, I now have mastered making corn tortillas by hand.
So when I told some of the members here what my last area was like they were very sorry for me and have now vowed to make sure that I get to try all the different foods of Honduras. Which means I don't have to buy food for a while. Yesterday I got cow stomach stew which actually was really good. Our cook owns a butcher shop so we get some good food I just make sure not to watch how they butcher it.
Let's just say that if you ever read the book The Jungle well it ain't got nothing on Honduras. The other day I saw a guy with a tiny motorcycle with a sidecar driving a dead cow to the butcher shop. Yeah the cow was sitting in the side car but it was way too huge for this bike and was dragging on the nasty road. But hey my stomach stew was good so I ain't complaining.
So just for all of you who are wondering how big the cockroaches are, imagine about the size of a silver dollar and about got it...only thing is that they are quick little buggers and like to attack you in the bathroom in the morning right as you are blurry eyed and are very ineffective at attacking back. Stupid cockroaches. But hey I guess they have to make a living.
Also one thing that is really funny is that at night the road that we have to take back to our house has got like ten or so drag-queen prostitutes who always cat call at us as we walk by. So yeah we aren't in Kansas no more. So my new comp is Elder Canterero. He is a Guanaco and has about 15 months on his mission. the good news is that he likes to work hard so we are like pigs in mud out here. Well that is about all that has happened here in the land of Honduras. Thanks for all the emails and love. Love you guys,


December 9, 2013

The Jungle Report, Ed 9 Dec 2013

Well my good fan club, just so you know this may be the last Jungle Report as in that is right, I have changes for the first time. I may end up not in the jungle but I am for sure still taking my machete with me. There ain't no way that I am leaving the machete behind. That tool has served me well.
So the good news is that it took all of like five minutes to pack and I am now just trying to not have anything left behind. We have been teaching some really good gators and that is going to be a little hard to just hand them over to some schmuck that I don't know. but I guess that is where the whole principle of faith comes in. I know that God needs me in another pueblo and with another companion so that we can just tear up the work and help as many short catrachos as we can.
The big news is that I have been working my butt off to get as many of our lost sheep back and going to church and it seems to be paying off here since yesterday we had a whopping seven of them that came to church. It is getting really nice to see what happens when you work your butt off and sweat a whole freaking lot.
Well yesterday we showed these Lamanites the Christmas Devotional that none of them had ever seen ( for those of you who don't know what the heck I am talking about.
But now it is time to answer some of your questions. Number one, Jack I am working on infiltrating a drug cartel here but as it turns out I am really white and taller than everyone so I stick out really badly. But I will keep you updated on that you dang Jersey Boy. Oh by the way, the first person I ended up trying to talk to down here, Jack, was from Jersey. Yeah I can't even escape those stinking Jersey kids here either. Another thing, as an avid LA Angels fan I though that I would escape the iron curtain of the Yankees here in Honduras too. Wrong again. They are still here. Catrachos are the worst band wagon jumpers ever. And they have the funniest t-shirts and hats ever.
So if you guys ever want to get any hat for any college national championship game that has the wrong team as the winners then hey I can hook you up. Hahahahaha. Well next week you will be able to hear from what area I am reassigned to. Mom I won't know how I can call or Skype you guys until then so I will say this once...stop freaking out I am working on it but being in a third world country doesn't speed up the process and if you are freaking out all that does is make more grey hairs. Love you all and make sure to have a great Christmas. Loves,


Behold the Border with Guatamala

December 2, 2013

The Jungle Report, Ed 2 Dec 2013

Well this week has been a really strange one. We finally got out of the house and were able to get back to work. So the first bit of news, Turkey Day sucks without a turkey or people to celebrate it with or anything. It was really sad and boring actually. Then we just kept working and working and working. but we did get some hot boy pics with a turkey as you all got to see. Well after the most depressing Turkey Day ever we got back to work and now have a full carpeta with gators who are interested in the Gospel.
Let's see not a whole lot happened this week. We did have another baptism and it was pretty good. So this whole time here has been about 60 degrees and everyone is freezing here. It is so funny cause I am loving it. I haven't sweat all week and it is amazing! But there are lots of sick people here because they are not used to this cold. Yeah that I find is sad. Then they call me crazy because I happen to be wearing a short sleeve shirt and am hot still. Well that is catrachos for you. Well there really isn't a whole lot to talk about this week but I will keep you updated on the adventures for sure. Well it's time to go adventure in the jungle of Copan Ruinas. See ya next week,