April 28, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 28, April 2014

Well adoring fans, this week in the Ghetto was actually really good. Pretty hot still. But that never changes so not much to tell you on that. I mean when you wake up in the night and have a fan on your whole body and are still sweating it just goes to say that hot is hot and I think you will all understand that so I can stop informing you.

Well it is good to hear that life back home is horrible and that you are all missing the slave labor that is now adventuring down in Honduras! There is justice in the world after all! Hahahahaha! But really you old folks need to take care of yourselves so when I come back in my triumphant return you will all be healthy enough for me to make fun of without feeling bad cause you are all old and sickly.

In other news I am doing better. So all the people are back in their houses now after this whole Easter Week. So we have been working again to get back in the game. So we have been working in overdrive to try and make up for the bad last week and so in the process I have found my small Colombian's weakness...walking.

He hates walking for a long time. So naturally as his "father" in the mission I had to take full advantage of this. So this whole week we walked everywhere. Hahahahaha! It was amazing. Man it was so nice to hear his whines and complaints all week. And at the end of the week we had a whole lot of money from not using buses, enough money we could buy cereal for breakfast this next week! Double win! Hahahaha! Yes we do get excited over the little things here. Like the other day we were given a small package of Oreos...yeah the originals...and it happened to make the day!

But the work continues on with tones of miracles, including a whopping twenty new investigators including a family who just walked up to the church this Sunday right before sacrament meeting asking if this was the Mormon Church...we promptly said yeah and now they are all super excited and have a date to all be baptized. Yeah that is what I call getting thrown into our laps.

But hey its not always that easy. Now we have to get back to work and keep the flames going. Well thanks for all the help from back home. Just make sure to know that you guys are "super macanuda" as the catrachos here would say. Keep up the good work,


April 21, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 21 April 2014

Well adoring fans, let's get right to it. So this last week just down right sucked. So the Semana Santa is just a horrible time to be a missionary. Everyone and their dog is gone and it is really hot. Supposedly it is the hottest time of the year here. I don't know if that is true but it was over 100 every single day at about 10:00 am so I am thinking it was just a little hot.

Well what does all of that mean for a missionary? Thank you for asking. It meant that we were just pouring sweat and just walking around a whole ton. As in walking all day it seemed. Normally we only walk to the next lesson appointment we have and so we aren't out in the sun as much as you would think. But this last wee was just horrible! I sweat so dang much. Every single day I was just pouting buckets of sweat I swear.

But the work goes on nonetheless. So just for all you interested bugs out there the Easter time here in Honduras is a really strange one. Number one, all week the movie "The Ten Commandments" with Charlton Heston is on about every single channel of tv all week on rerun. As soon as it gets done, it starts up again. Number two, everyone just leaves and goes and hangs out with as many distant relatives as they can. No one has school or work all week. On Friday they close down everything and like no one goes out into the street...except or a Gringo and a Colombian who are about trying to teach them why Christ is so important, especially at this time of year.

It was hot, it was dusty, and I just want you all to know that I hate you all and the fact that you can sleep and not go to bed sweating and wake up in the same state. But hey, just another journal entry right? So really with all this week just being a real downer and hot and miserable, I was just really down this week. Dragging bottom. But I was reading in the Book of Mormon and found the answer I needed to keep on trucking on and finish the work.

It is in Alma 60:11. It was just a machete to me. It says hey if you are thinking that God's purposes will just happen because He loves us and we said please we are thinking in vain. We have to go out and work and fight the giants that face us every day and He will strengthen us to the point that we will literally see miracles.

At the end of the week we had a very spiritual time and found a ton of people who had been praying for just what we are here for. It shows that we just have to work and work and work and just change socks and drink water. That will solve everything.

Well that is about all the word for this week. Oh parents I did get the huge box filled with ties. Now the mission is just baptize the men to fill those ties.

Well thanks for all your love and support, I miss you all unless you don't ever write me or are from New Jersey and are named Jack Conway...oh well that is all I have for you this week.

Just remember, God has plenty of people who sit by and do nothing. Go make a change and have an adventure. Loves,


April 14, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 14 April 2014

Well this week's report...Not really a whole stinking lot. Well the work in Naco is just going on. Right now the Semana Santa means that everyone and their grandma is leaving town and so it really just sucks cause like all of our investigators are gone for the week so now we are just searching or new gators. This may be an opportunity to find more people who are ready for the word.

So another thing about the whole week leading up to Easter, it is the hottest week for Honduras. I mean waking up and you are already sweaty and it really just is a never ending process. It is days just filled with walking in the hot sun and having a crap ton of dust just all over everywhere. At the end of the day when you take your shoe off and pour out a pound of dust from each one.

Yeah so that has been our work recently, the dusty walking around and sweating a whole crap ton. But we are still here going strong working to make sure that the people here of Naco have the chance to talk to a sweaty gringo missionary. Yay!

In other news I am getting really good at washing my clothes by hand thanks to the need. Turns out when you have a ton of sweaty shirts all the time they need to be washed and so you just get good at it naturally.

So we are just having a ton of fun here even though it is bloody hot here. We have started playing games while we contact like contacting every guy with a mustache or everyone that happens to have a shirt that is in really crappy English. It's been pretty good.

But we are running out of time now so I will get you all next week. Just know that I love you all and can't wait to hear from you all.


April 7, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 7 APR 2014, Day Late and A Dollar Short

Well adoring fan club,

Yes sorry if you all were worried about me. I wasn't able to write last week, I was on a special mission with President Dester and was not able to get to a computer to write and then seeing as how it is the job of a missionary to teach every other day of the week I ended up not getting to update you with my wild exploits and adventures. And contrary to popular thought (from my mother) I was not sick but in fact was working with the president to open up new houses for missionaries. Yes the work is expanding here in Honduras. Every single change we get more and more missionaries, about 20 or more, and are only losing about 4 every change. So we are in rapid and expanding work. The Lord is sending more troops to try and bring in more and more souls. Which is really exciting to see and be a part of the Lord's work.

So let's get on to the stories about my life here. So this last week I have been in the offices of the mission helping with the opening and maintaining the houses that missionaries live in throughout the mission. Let's just say that the office junkies are a different breed of people. Let me just explain that there are two guanacos (Salvadorians) who only talk with themselves and don't like being attacked in the house, a chapin (Guatamalteco) who speaks really fast and also is like 5 foot tall, a southern boy from Tennessee who he and I just sit and chat it up here when we are in the office, other than that there is the socially awkward home school kid that no one likes for two reasons: 1) the fact that he is the financial secretary and 2) that he is just SUPER awkward to try and hold a conversation.

And this is why I will be on record now and forever against home schooling. The fact that children are just sheltered from the social development and experience is an abomination! And then there is one more elder from Salt Lake City who is actually really cool. So yeah, note to all you potential missionaries out there, don't ever EVER get in the office, it is a prison of weirdness. Don't do it.

In another note the office has P Days on Saturdays but mine is right now since I am only here on loan for a bit. So on Saturday turns out that I am still the undefeated mission Risk champion. It's called an assault from Australia and taking over all of Asia in one turn happens to lead to victory. So we started out and the very awkward home school kid, Elder King by name, was the one that was very annoying to listen to so we all subconsciously had a pact to kill him first and send him to bed so we didn't have to listen to him. Totally worth it. After that there were tears, laughter and a bunch of sweaty elders arguing over whether or not we would be counting sub-rules to the rules of the game to win. Yeah we take our Risk serious here.

In other news the General Conference was amazing to watch this weekend. It is amazing to know that in this day and age we have a prophet of God who receives revelation for us. Every single talk by him and the other apostles was literal answers to prayers and was a fact to me that my Father in Heaven knows and loves me enough to send the help for me. If you haven't watched them I would not only suggest it but I would pull out the belt and force you if I could...which I can, just give me a year and a bit and then you are all so watching the crap out of General Conference.

There was yet another baptism for the boys of Naco this weekend too. Let's just say that there was a doctor baptized. She is super smart and really has come to have a testimony. Turns out when you read the scriptures and actually pray with full intent, preparing and with the faith that you will receive an answer you get one. Word to the wise, do it, changes lives. Boom! Next subject...

So yet again I have come to the realization that everything that is life is more and more like the Muppets. So my time here in the office has really made me realize that all my time watching the Muppets has prepared me for life. At times all we need is to relax to the sweet sultry sounds of a frog playing a banjo and know that life will work out in the end. So we went to go grab some grub the other day when suddenly up walks this beggar in the street who I swear to you was the human equivalent of Fozzy Bear. He had the hat and tie and everything. I wasn't smart enough to get his picture but we did make "waka waka" references the whole time and took him to lunch with us. Good times had by all.

Well that is about all that I have for this week(s) updates. Make sure to stay classy and remember that "if life gives you lemons, shoot yourself out of a cannon." -Gonzo the Great

Loves ya all,


This one is for you Mommy...