The Moria Report, Ed 8 Dec 2014

Well this week also went by super fast folks. So to start we had to take a bunch of trips around Honduras. First we had to travel the three hours for, and I am quoting the zone leaders here, a "very important, DON'T miss type of meeting" that ended up being a complete waste of time as the meeting was about nothing more than, "let's get to know the new missionaries in the zone." Your existence means NOTHING to me! So we had that amazing three hours there, two hours in a meeting, wait an hour and a half for the bus that comes "every half hour," and then three hours more to get back to the mines I love. Well that was only the first day of travel. So then on Thorsday...

...we had to travel to immigration in San Pedro so as to not "quedarme mojado en Honduras." Thanks Mr. Gringo for ruining this place for the rest of us.

Well after the four and a half hours thanks to a road system that boasts to have roads a little less crappy than the craters of the moon, we arrived in the shopping mall that holds the immigration paper department of Honduras. After a surprisingly, horribly, painfully, "I would rather take a cheese grater to my eye than have to wait more time" wait, we were finally served. As in they just had to spend two seconds to take finger prints and a photo and BOOM! That's all she wrote. I mean really...? That long for two seconds? I now understand somewhat of those people who go postal...just a wee bit. So long story short, NEVER pray for opportunities to develop more patience. I promise you will end up with weeks like this.

But enough of the amazing public transportation department and tragically slow immigration department complaints. The rest of the week was really good up until Sunday when my companion happened to get sick to his stomach. As in projectile vomit for only about...(check watch)...twelve hours or so. Just that. But hey in that time I had the opportunity to clean the entire house, be bored, take a cat nap, clean the house again, change where we had the four pieces of furniture around, realize it was better before and changed it back, read a crap ton, clean all my clothes, look at my watch and realize that it is still only 11:00 am. So yeah yesterday after the twelve hours my comp felt good enough to go to a member's house for a surprise b day bash for one of the missionaries here in the district. So a tradition here is to shove the person's head in the cake after they blow out the candles. And so yesterday I had the mantle of tradition fall over me. Let's just say that Hma Cardona now has cake up her nose so far that I still kinda feel bad about it...kinda...

Also this week we got the chance to baptize a full family, the Guzmán family. Martín and Esperanza were baptized. It was a real great thing to see them grow and develop their testimonies to the point that every time we would visit them they were asking us when they could be baptized...for about four weeks straight. Just a great family and we now just have to go and get some more gators cause all of ours got dunked. #HondurasMissionaryProblems. Well I love you all and remember that if you are all going to send me stuff to make sure that it is a bunch of wooden carvings of George Washington slaying a dragon with an American flag and put a crap ton of Jesus...oh, I mean Jesús stickers on the box so that the mail guys feel all guilt-tripped into not messing with it. Well I will see you all on the flipside. Oh side note: this Tuesday we also have to go to San Pedro again...(weeping slow bitter tears of defeat) WHY?!!

Loves

Mike...cough...Elder Duff*

*or if you un catracho one of the following: Elder Dooss, Elder Duck, Elder Stuff, Elder Stoos, Elder...no recuerde su nombre, or Elder Cerveza (in honor of The Simpsons)