My Last Will and Testament from Here at the CCM

I, Michael N. Duff, Jr., being of sound mind and body, do hereby make a record of my people in my days. Well my days here in Mexico draw almost to a close. As in tomorrow I head farther south to a country more sketchy. It is called Honduras!
Well all day today I am pretty bored all here by myself. As in my compañero and all my compatriots in my district (squad fro the non-Mormon people or my posse for those of you from New Jersey (cough, cough Jack)) are gone so I have hung out all by myself and tried to take a nap. Yeah it was a magnificent thing finally experiencing the Spanish siesta. America should adopt this practice I think. Of course the old man known as my father has been doing this for years, it just never had a name before now.
Anywho random jabs aside, my time here in Mexico has taught me some very valuable lessons that I will now impart unto you my people. Number 1, America rocks! It is truer by the day. It is nice to know that you can shower at home and not have your mouth tightly closed in order to not die from the water. Number 2, God works in mysterious and often funny ways. It is strange that He can take a poor white farm kid from Idaho and in a manner of weeks have him able to speak to natives in their own tongue and be able to make them smile. Number 3, the drug cartel is alive and well down here in Mexico. Yes I have seen gunfights and people being kidnapped but hey I made it so calm down mom, I am fine. Number 4, everything is cheap down here in Mexico. No really when I do the math and I end up having spent a mean $3.45 and manage to have snacks for a whole week and a half it is pretty sweet. If you want to retire a millionaire just head south. Except or those of you from the northeast, your angry ways would probably add up to you being short or something. Number 5, you can find joy in the smallest things in life. It is strange to think that here I have been with what I have though were necessities in life taken from me and yet I can wake up every single morning and have a smile on my face. That comes because of help from above. What can I say, the Big Man Upstairs likes me I guess.
Well these are just a few things that I have learned from being here in the Lord's service. Remember that you are all special to me and I love you. The next time you will hear from me I will be in the murder capital of the world...San Pedro Sula, Honduras. You are all in my prayers and I love you all. Stay classy! Oh the picture is me on a Nacho Libre style bike. Yeah I am that cool. Love you all,

Mike

P.S. Jack you still suck but I love you man. Have fun in Oklahoma where not a soul wants to be, thus they gave it to the FA to train in. Hahahaha but stay safe.

Pete (Noto) Hey you have fun and tell Lydia that I love you both and want you to be super happy. I expect a piece of your wedding cake in the mail to Honduras. Then I turn you in to a Mormon so you can live in Idaho and Jack can make fun of you. Love you mate.

Zeke, you backwoods chicken farmer, you take care and lead your plebe this year well. Keep me updated on how the spring season goes and don't let yourself turn brutal or else all the old pigs and I will kill you and not invite you to Gloria's.

Mom and Pops, I need the Bishop's address and email so I can write him too. I love you even though you are old and wrinkly and have a mustache. I love you too mom.

Grant, tell happy birthday to Abby for me and make sure your season this year is sent to a football fan who will be without for two years, I expect film too.