September 2, 2013

The Jungle Report, Week 2

Well life continues on here in the ruins of the Mayan Civilization. Just so you all know I actually didn't get a birthday dinner, we were on the road to San Pedro Sula and missed any dinner at all. But it was all good. It is good to hear that life back hoe is finally sorting out after the whole episode of getting hit by lightning. And it pays to be gone and have all your stuff unplugged I guess. Hahahahaha! ¡winning!
No dad I have not eaten any armadillos or anything strange yet, in fact they really don't even eat anything really weird. Or spicy for that matter. Their food is very poor and bland. As in they love fried chicken and green bananas cut and french fried. It is pretty good. Any and all things chicken they eat. And tons of beans and tortillas. Yeah they are like that, I know very stereotypical but it's true.
Oh the corn season is drawing to a close so there won't be as much corn on the cob as I have been having. Yeah it is like a daily thing here, feed the missionaries corn on the cob. Not with salt or anything good like butter or anything, just corn. Yeah they are kinda too poor to have salt on a regular basis so they just make do without any seasoning at all. I cooked some potatoes and mashed them with milk and some butter and salt and blew minds the other day. Yeah, who would have that that good ole mashed potatoes would be revolutionizing?
Let's see what else...oh so there was this dog who always gave us trouble that one day got crushed by a boulder and there was much rejoicing from my companion and I. Yeah a boulder rolled off the mountain and crushed him dead and it was a great day all around.
So do you guys know what the greatest thing in the world is...waking up and having the coldest shower ever. As in super SUPER freezing. It is just soooo much fun to go from nice and warm and comfy in bed to the last scene from Titanic, "I'll never let go Jack!" (Spoiler alert, she does).
Anywho let's see. Our gators are progressing well. Miguel and Bertha get married this week and are then baptized next week.
Oh so some sisters in the little branch here were helping us talk with people and this group of little boys on the oldest bikes I have ever seen kept riding after us up this mountain and hassling the women and I kinda lost my temper and took one of the kid's bikes and threw it off the mountain. We later saw him retrieving his bike from out of the top of a banana tree. It was very funny and made my day brighter.
The bananas are almost in season so I may be starting to eat a whole lot more bananas it seems. Hint, they get old really fast. Don't get me wrong, I love bananas, but when you are so poor that that is all you eat until it is out of season it kinda sucks.
So the language is coming along really fast actually. I guess that happens when you never get any English at all. I am finally am starting to understand what the locals are saying to me. And by locals I mean like the backwoods banjo type locals. Even though the ones with no teeth still suck and I just smile and nod and say "uh huh." they just have the worst lisps in the world which is quantified because Spanish uses a whole heck of a lot of the letter "s."
Oh found out we can watch Disney movies so now I just have to acquire some Disney movies
Well that is all I have to report this week, still working on getting a sweet machete. And I am now the proud owner of some sweet Honduran Mayan themed cowboy boots. Yeah, totally worth the goat I traded for.
I am in cowboy country and it is really funny to see them driving with the smallest most puny horses in the world. Oh and they just love any shirt with English writing on it.
The other day some kid had a shirt that said "People United for Cats Movement" and a picture of the single dumbest looking cat on it. Hilarious to say the least.
Well elections down here are coming up so I will keep you updated if the Libre party (socialist, and I mean UBER socialist) wins or not. Please keep me updated on football and anything American at all. I love you all and can't wait to hear from you soon.

Mike

P.S. Zeke, you better DESTROY UPenn this week or I will hunt you down with my little Honduran friends.

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