November 11, 2013

The Jungle Report, Ed 11 Nov

So this week in the Jungle of Honduras, well it began kinda crappy and I was feeling kinda down in the dumps. But eh enough of that. We worked none the less and fought hard and are progressing the work here in Honduras. So this week the great news is that we are having a baptismal font being built in our little church house here. That is so stinking much I can't even explain. The amount of hassle and heartache when it comes to baptisms just died, and there was much rejoicing.
So while that has been going on I am once again reminded of how lazy the men are here. So the crew working on the ont have needed one guy to work all this week and help them and the church would pay them too...as in 4 or 5 times more than they make in the same time. And my companion and I are always hounded by people (members too) for money. So this week we gave the opportunity to these guys in the branch who are currently unemployed to work and none...NONE of them wanted to work. They just keep bugging us for money because that is way easier. So we have been trying all week to find someone who needs money to come and do some work and get money. Who would have thought it would be hard to get someone to come earn a heck of a lot more money than they would get normally? Well we still have yet to solve that mystery but eh...it will work out maybe.
So we have also been teaching this little kid Alejandro who is 8. He is going to count for a baptism for the branch cause his family are members. But this whole week we have been trying to teach him two principles, the law of tithing and the law of chastity. But he thinks he is really runny and so this week has been less fun than taking a cheese grater to my eyeball. A full week where every day we are only trying to get him to remember that it is 10% of your increase and the other is to remain sexually pure. Those two sentences.
Well Saturday I had finally had enough and it was time for the good ole good cop, bad cop routine. Well I played the bad cop who was chewing him out and was "angry" with  him for being stupid about this. It was a rather easy role to play since the character's feelings in this scene reflected my own. Well I started to chew him out and ended up putting a curse on him. Yeah, straight up botched that one. He just started bawling but then after he actually has been very grown up and is learning like a champ now. But yeah that was pretty great to find out afterwards why my companion's face was priceless and his mouth was open with the widest eyes I have ever seen. Yeah well every day is an adventure right?
Well after that on Sunday I got grazed by a moto taxi. Turns out the guy was drunk and got out to chew me out for him hitting me on the sidewalk. Well my sleeve of my shirt was all ripped and I have some scratches on that arm but this hombre got out and after trying to calm him down for him hitting me he tried to throw a punch so sloppy and slow that it was funny but that punch was easily absorbed and a faster, more accurate punch from a bigger fist was applied post haste and resulted that from a student of the sciences standpoint, once again Newton's and others' theories of physics were proven valid once again. That for every action there is an opposite reaction and that when the mass of a large object with high velocity collides with a smaller, more drunk object the force that is applied to the small object is extreme and has dramatic effects. The law of gravity was also proven valid in this incident as was the study of anatomy proved very useful.
When the human nose receives a brutal blow blood tends to flow at high velocity out of the said damaged nose. So yes for all you science bums out there Sunday was a good day for science. So the guy in the taxi, who wasn't drunk scraped up his friend and took him home. There were people laughing at this whole bum that got his reward.
So all in all the world still rolls on down here. We have to baptisms coming up and they are for Emma and Clara. They are getting really prepared and are all excited for their big days. Well that is all that news that is worth having in these weeks chronicles, oh and don't worry mom, I am never in any danger. Ready Alma chapters 17-27 and you will see that like this example here in these chapters I am good and safe in the same mission that they were in. Well I loves most of you guys, it's now your job to fight over those slots of who is love and who isn't. Yes these are tryouts...oh but if you are from New Jersey you automatically lose. Well see ya next week,

Mike

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