March 3, 2014

The Ghetto Report, Ed 3 Mar 2014

Well folks let's just get to it shall we. So first the good news, one of our gators was just baptized. Elia del Carmen Garcia Rodriguez which is always just fun to see people progress and find out the joy that the Gospel has for them. Well that was all the good news. Now it is time for the not so good news.
So well turns out my companion has been up to his good ole game again. Yup being a total planch (or in English a person who is a horrible missionary). So this latest episode sounds really bad when you write it out and I tried to make it sound nice but I couldn't think of any different way to put it. So this time involves embezzling Church missionary funds and sending them through a personal account to the woman that he broke mission rules to have a relationship with in his last area. that I reread that sentence it really is pretty bad.
So I had been having my suspicions for a while now and so I finally pulled a Mysteries Inc. and Scooby and I ended up searching for clues and that is when we discovered his bank deposit pamphlet with all the evidence we needed. Then the time came to unmask the monster. So he was confronted about it and lied and lied and lied until he finally came out with the truth and then was completely baffled as to why I was angry and ashamed of him. So then after about 45 minutes of grilling him with both logic and biblical machetes and teachings of Christ and the apostles about the law of consecration he then told me that he doesn't want to be a missionary any more so now I have to deal with that.
Well that is all the cool news I have for you today. In other news well it is good to hear that home is getting pounded with water so I don't get rained on so much here. You guys have really needed that moisture and here not so much. Also it is awesome to hear about how the ward is still awesome and is willing to pitch in and help with the ties for converts down here. Cause down here the ties are like gold and people can't really buy them easily so that really helps a ton. As for you people who need my address if you want to contribute to the tie project it is as follows:

Elder Michael N. Duff, Jr.
Honduras San Pedro Sula West Mission
12 Calle Ave. Circunvalacion SO
Edificio Yude Canahuati
Nivel 3, Oficina 4
Sand Pedro Sula, Cortes

No, contrary to popular belief, you can send boxes, just make sure to put pictures of Jesus on it so that the mail system guys here feel guilty about opening it and stealing everything. Speaking of care packages, I just received one from Zeke Henderson, the stud from Georgia who is just a total man. If anyone is really wanting to send supplies to help lift spirits, items that could be used are lemonade juice mix packets of any time of lemonade. They don't drink it here really and I miss it dearly. Other than that thank you for the prayers and know that they mean a lot.
But it is time to get back to the work. Oh yeah and mom in answer to your last question of your email it is right now I am working in the Lord's vineyard and am not really worrying about that right now. I will inform you as to the status quo when and if it ever comes to mind. But thanks for the concern. Oh and this is an exact quote from Mom's email siblings so read it and weep HAHAHAHA!

"anyway, love you loads and lots, you're my favorite--always have been, always will be

Yes as in another note, mother is now the Executive Officer of the family, felicidades for your promotion Mother dearest. Well enough shenanagins so until next week I love you all...unless you fall into one of these two categories; 1) you haven't emailed me in a long time, or 2) you happen to be from "Dirty" Jersey (cough, cough, Jack Conway, Cough) well that is all. See yas later


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