The Moria Report, Ed 28 Dec 2014

Well I guess I will see you all next year. Yeah, bye.


No! Not yet! Well this week went by the slowest fastness you have ever heard of. So to start with everyone and their mom were out of town for Christmas so we had a whole lot of days trying to contact people...the four left in town...after a lot of walking and crap. Well Christmas was kinda slow and the best part were the care packages that were perfectly timed.

Then after Christmas and the family time thanks to Skype. Good to know that the family is still there. Also as of note this is going to be short due to the fact that I just finished talking with you folks as of like four days. I will have more adventures and get back to you on the next edition of the report. Love you all,

Mike

The Christmas Email

Mike did send an email today, it was just about the family Christmas Skype session.

He did however attach something I think everyone will enjoy:

The Moria Report, Ed 8 Dec 2014

Well this week also went by super fast folks. So to start we had to take a bunch of trips around Honduras. First we had to travel the three hours for, and I am quoting the zone leaders here, a "very important, DON'T miss type of meeting" that ended up being a complete waste of time as the meeting was about nothing more than, "let's get to know the new missionaries in the zone." Your existence means NOTHING to me! So we had that amazing three hours there, two hours in a meeting, wait an hour and a half for the bus that comes "every half hour," and then three hours more to get back to the mines I love. Well that was only the first day of travel. So then on Thorsday...

...we had to travel to immigration in San Pedro so as to not "quedarme mojado en Honduras." Thanks Mr. Gringo for ruining this place for the rest of us.

Well after the four and a half hours thanks to a road system that boasts to have roads a little less crappy than the craters of the moon, we arrived in the shopping mall that holds the immigration paper department of Honduras. After a surprisingly, horribly, painfully, "I would rather take a cheese grater to my eye than have to wait more time" wait, we were finally served. As in they just had to spend two seconds to take finger prints and a photo and BOOM! That's all she wrote. I mean really...? That long for two seconds? I now understand somewhat of those people who go postal...just a wee bit. So long story short, NEVER pray for opportunities to develop more patience. I promise you will end up with weeks like this.

But enough of the amazing public transportation department and tragically slow immigration department complaints. The rest of the week was really good up until Sunday when my companion happened to get sick to his stomach. As in projectile vomit for only about...(check watch)...twelve hours or so. Just that. But hey in that time I had the opportunity to clean the entire house, be bored, take a cat nap, clean the house again, change where we had the four pieces of furniture around, realize it was better before and changed it back, read a crap ton, clean all my clothes, look at my watch and realize that it is still only 11:00 am. So yeah yesterday after the twelve hours my comp felt good enough to go to a member's house for a surprise b day bash for one of the missionaries here in the district. So a tradition here is to shove the person's head in the cake after they blow out the candles. And so yesterday I had the mantle of tradition fall over me. Let's just say that Hma Cardona now has cake up her nose so far that I still kinda feel bad about it...kinda...

Also this week we got the chance to baptize a full family, the Guzmán family. Martín and Esperanza were baptized. It was a real great thing to see them grow and develop their testimonies to the point that every time we would visit them they were asking us when they could be baptized...for about four weeks straight. Just a great family and we now just have to go and get some more gators cause all of ours got dunked. #HondurasMissionaryProblems. Well I love you all and remember that if you are all going to send me stuff to make sure that it is a bunch of wooden carvings of George Washington slaying a dragon with an American flag and put a crap ton of Jesus...oh, I mean Jesús stickers on the box so that the mail guys feel all guilt-tripped into not messing with it. Well I will see you all on the flipside. Oh side note: this Tuesday we also have to go to San Pedro again...(weeping slow bitter tears of defeat) WHY?!!

Loves

Mike...cough...Elder Duff*

*or if you un catracho one of the following: Elder Dooss, Elder Duck, Elder Stuff, Elder Stoos, Elder...no recuerde su nombre, or Elder Cerveza (in honor of The Simpsons)

The Moria Report, Ed 1 Dec 2014

Well folks today I find myself yet again here to write down the adventures that we have been having in the mountain home of Las Vegas, Santa Barbara. This last week was actually pretty eventful. So to start, I am still in fact here in Mochito. Yeah there hasn't been a change yet for me so I get to enjoy these nice temperatures a wee bit longer. So in that time from last Monday to this we had been planning an activity for the church here. It was the Súper Plan de Salvación. It was where we decorated the chapel like the Plan of Salvation including, but not limited to, the Creation, life on Earth, death...the whole SHABANG! Well it took a while to coordinate the efforts of the church leaders here and that of the six missionaries. But for being a science fair project it turned out really great. People would walk through and experience the Plan of Salvation and understand the answers to the three huge questions: 1) Where were we before being born on Earth? 2) What is our purpose in life? and 3) What happens after death? It was pretty great to say the least. So my companion and I were in charge of the resurrection and let's just say that a minion had the chance to come back to life and pop out of a cardboard grave. It was a great activity to say the least.

In other news for all of you who wondered...Thanksgiving sucked this year. We actually forgot about it for most of the day until our next door neighbor's turkey started mocking us. Yes, there was much contemplation of whether to hpo the fence in an epic Turkey Raid operation but in the end we just suffered through like most missionaries do when not in the states for their mission. But we did celebrate as best as we could. We had a couple beleadas and ate them trying not to cry too much and not think of pumpkin pie and turkey. You know what, it's not like I even wanted good food anyway...okay I will stop lying to you all. But hey don't worry life here is still good. Just living it up and trying to find more and more of those willing to come into the fold of God. Well I hope you are all having amazing adventures too. Can't wait to hear from you all.

Love,

Elder Duff