The Moria Report, Ed 27 Oct 2014

Well my dearest fan club,

So this week there were a bunch of crazy, crazy stories to tell. So where to start? I believe that I shall start with the amazing tale of how awesome the weather has been. So this week there were three days in the morning when it was cold enough to see my breath. Of course this is the worst thing that could ever happen to a Honduran so it was also hilarious to see all the Catrachos trying to wear sweaters and other such "cold gear". Just a hoot. Then this week we have been trying to talk and reactivate the less actives that are here. So it has been a really long and sad week talking to all these people. But we are trying to get them back to the big happy family.

We also had the opportunity to haul a fridge for a guy. Sounds easy enough but little did we know that we had to haul it form the top of a mountain to the top of another. Yeah sucked worse than that because it was raining and the whole place was straight mud so we are just sliding the whole time with the fridge. Then after we also had this like 13 year old mini cartel boss tried to recruit us. We turned him down though he did present a good offer. Sad day I know.

We also got to see a fight between a horse and a mototaxi. Let's just say horse wins every single time. The horse flew into the air, landed, then walked away angry. The mototaxi on the other hand was just trashed. Proving that technology loses again against the will of a horse. Well that is all the time I have for this week's update. Love you guys,

Mike

The Moria Report, Ed 20 Oct 2014

Well loyal fan club, this week was just a wee bit fast and a wee bit crazy. But hey it was pretty fun. So this week started off with getting rid of my last comp, the Hawaiian Roller coaster, Elder Livai, and picking up my new potato, Elder Goodsell from Preston, Idaho! Yes, my new son in the mission is a spud, too! Still keeping up the roll of zero from Utah. Hahahahaha! Totally need to keep it up like that!

But enough about the fact that I have another newbie to take care of. So this last week we realized that where we are right now is that the ward here needs some help of a different sort. So we are now going into phase two of our 47 part plan to make everyone like us, fit in, and always be happy! That is what we are now focusing on: reactivation of the less actives here in the ward and capacitation of home and visiting teachers. So it now looks like we have a huge hill to climb for us here. But hey it will totally be worth it if we get the people here in Mochito to be happy and the ward to function better. It just comes at the price of my sanity. So the first part of losing my brain came when I asked for a list of less actives here in Mochito and was handed a paper stack filled with over 600 names...imma let that settle in for a bit...and now I am in the process of contacting all these people and getting the process rolling. Yeah so my next weeks will be close to impossible, small chance of success...

Yeah well we got to get back to the fight right now. Can't wait to hear from you all next week. Love you all,

Mike

Moria Report, Ed 12 Oct 2014

Well folks this week we went Hawaiian. Let's talk about that...

So this last week was really, really fast. I mean super fast. Faster than Superman (*editor's note: I do not support Superman or any of his evil DC Comics friends. #AvengersRock*) Now back from that random side note. I would like to just say that the rainy season is OFFICIALLY back. It has been raining every single day of the week here. And by rain I mean downpour! It is almost flooding the streets every day and so we as elders now have to use a whole lot more socks because we just get to walk through water every single day. Great times. But hey it is better than being really, really hot all the time. I would take it 9 out of 8 times. So we really have been just trudging on with that.

So we also had a talent show that I was just so lovingly voluntold to plan since it was in the making for about a two month period here but no one thought to plan it until I finally asked what it was going to be. That's what I get for asking questions. So I thus had about a week to plan every single thing that was going to go into this thing. Sucked, badly. But in the end I thus rose champion and the greatest, mediocre Hawaiian-themed, Honduran talent show every planned by a gringo to ever see the light of day. You would all be impressed that only 4 cows and a small child were hurt in the making of the production. But in the end it was a slightly smashing success!

Well in other news, turns out we found out that my comp, Elder Livia has changes and will be leaving me here in Mochito and I will be training again, for the third time. Crap! Yet again another chance to have a bewildered youth to corrupt. Hahahaha! I know now why my father is the way he is. Such power! Hahahaha! Well so the next time you hear from the Mines of Moria I will have a new padawan learner at my side for the adventures. Just pray it isn't a fatty from Utah. My two worst nightmares. Well I love you guys and can't wait to hear from you next week.

Loves,

Mike

Photo Dump

The Report From Moria, Ed 6 Oct 2014

Well folks,

This week was a really strange one but really great at the same time. So to begin with it was Conference which is always amazing to watch. And this time was historic for the fact that Authorities were speaking their own languages. Good times there. Note to self, don't sit next to little kids during the Conference broadcast, they just bug the crap out of you and literally yell everything that youa re doing to the whole congregation. Great times there. If I had one free sucker punch...

Anywho, in other news this last week was amazingly rainy. Especially Saturday. It just down poured. I mean I feel like I understand how Noah felt. The rivers all flooded and there was water running everywhere in the streets. Well the bridges and everything were flooded and it was just fun cause the elders were out playing in the water and all the catrachos watching us like we are crazy. Totally worth it.

Elder Livia and I were also able to be the judges for the local private school's English spelling bee. There is nothing better in the morning than making a bunch of little Honduran kids cry about their bad English. Not my fault. You had that list of words for two months and couldn't remember how to spell the word "knight". What are you in the second grade???!!!! ... Oh...oh you are...yeah my bad. No but it was really fun to see all those kids struggling with English #GringosRevenge. After we met a gringa who lives here named Megan who we are now teaching her and her husband. Just great times.

Well that is about all the adventures for today. Sorry but this week was boring and fast. I will make sure to keep you more updated next week. Loves you all, some more than others,

Mike