Report From the Mines of Moria, Ed 29 Sep 2014

Well fans,

This week was yet another week in the awesome area that is Mochito! The sweating every single day has been replaced with being rained on every single day. But it is a complete welcome change. Now our problems, well my problem, has been trying to not laugh too hard when my comp is wearing a sweater and says that it is cold while I sit with two fans on me. Just crazy. So Elder Livia has only ever experienced the coldest ever a whopping no lower than 60 degrees...wow...but hey I will keep up his cold weather training.

This week was some good news...we had a baptism, or make that two!. Yeah so this week we got to get into the incredibly cold water Mochito has to offer. But it was great to see that Jose and Dianora could be baptized. It was a great baptism and they are both so happy and on fire right now and want to share with everyone that they know. After the Saturday baptism we had the General Woman's Conference that we had to try and get to work in the Chapel so that the women here could watch it. Well that is easier said than done in a third world country. A lot harder to accomplish. So first the internet wasn't working and during that the speakers blew out from a really close lightning strike. So while sill fighting to get the internet to work we now had to figure that out too. Great! But there is a God above who loves us because it finally got figured out. And right as we uploaded the conference...the power went out. Just great. Just amazingly great. But in the end we just reenacted the conference with sock puppets so we earned points for our creativity. Hahaha!

No really this place is great. We just are trying to get to know all the people still and then we will be cooking with butter. So we do have some cool pictures that I will be sharing with you guys. Here is one of the baptism, another of my comp drinking this nasty malt soda for the first time, and then one of us waiting for people to show up for church...like always. Well I love you guys just make sure to have some adventures this week. See ya all later,

Mike

Report from the Highlands, Ed 22 Sep 2014

Well folks as you can probably guess from the change in the title of the email, yes in fact I have been changed. I am no longer in Dos Caminos and am now in the mountains of Santa Barbara in a little mining town called Mochito. IT IS AWESOME!!!!!!! This place is beautiful! Just like the Ruins of Copan but less ghetto. As in people here have jobs and everything. Crazy but I am just downright loving the area. The ward here is strong and the members really want to help. So my new comp is a Tongan from Hawaii (I am still confused about that too but whatever) named Elder Livia. Great guy, a newbie, but a great missionary. We get along like pigs in mud, not that there is any mud.

So actually life here in Mochito is really awesome. So number one it isn't so bloody hot all the time. That is to say that I now have to use a blanket to sleep at night, and by blanket I mean a very, very thin bedsheet. But it's an improvement right? Now I only sweat when we climb the big ole mountains that are all around us, but I can't really complain so far. I mean we have hot water to shower with and the next door lady likes us so we can use her washing machine. So we are finally getting some comforts that have been lived without for a long time. I am just happy I don't have to take any more cold bucket showers. I mean right now I am just as happy as could be. But really that is all I have to report for this week. Just living it up and trying to have some adventures for sure. Well I will make sure to have some amazing adventure for you guys this next week. Until then go make your own! Love you,

Mike

The Report From the Fork in the Road, Ed 15 Sep 2014

Well Peeps!

This week was an interesting one, REAL interesting. So let's talk about it.

So this last week has been a really just pain in the behind! Well it was hot, yes I was sweaty and boom! There you have it, that was my week. Talk to you next week. HAHAHAHA! No not quite. I will go into a little more depth for you.

So this past, well I don't know 14 weeks here in my area there has been a really big distance between the missionaries and the local leadership. Mostly due to a lot of things but what I break it down to is a strong case of Napoleonic Syndrome that thinks it can tell everyone and everything what to do. So this big ole difference has made every single Sunday here just a royal pain. this week we finally just faced up to the problem and had a sit-down with the stake pres and mission pres stepping in to try and solve the problem. Well after an almost 4 hour meeting, I feel a band-aide has finally been placed over the internal bleeding that is going on here. Let's just hope that gang-green doesn't set in too quickly.

In the ways of gators we have been focusing in trying to progress our little flock we have and help the new converts with retention in the church. That is taking a lot of time trying to make sure that everyone is all good and understands everything and that there are home teachers and visiting teachers. And then to top it all off as district leader I have to try and help solve all this not only in my area but in all the other areas, too. Not to complain, but I would just like to quote my mother in saying that "I love it when stupid people come visit me." or in my case call me with the dumbest things to ask. For example, (note these are only a few of the calls I have received since having only TWO weeks as DL) "Well I know he is 100 years old and can't understand what we are saying due to the Alzheimers but can we baptize him?" or my personal favorite has been "I know that they have to be married or not live together before getting baptized, but they promised that they wouldn't have relations and want to be baptized." Most of my responses have been just one word, "Really?" But hey at least the elders are trying to work hard.

But in another realm being a district leader has given me a chance to help out the regular Joes here in the mission. I have always liked helping people and this is yet another way to try and help them. I will make sure to keep you updated on how the boys in District "The Rebel Alliance" are doing this upcoming week.

So the pics that are attached are myself and Elder Moes just going and having fun in the house and today when we found out that everyone though that Camelot was in England but turns out they are all stinking wrong! Just look where it turns out to be...DOS CAMINOS, HONDURAS!!! Hahahahahahahaha! Well that is about all that I have for this week. I will keep you updated on the next week in about seven days. Love you all,

Mike

The Report From the Fork in the Road, Ed 8 Septiembre 2014

Well my loving fans this last week was an interesting one...let's talk about it.

So this last week we had changes. As you are now reading from the title of the email, I am still in Dos Caminos. My son, Elder Sessions, is now off in another area and I am still here to fight the good fight.

So speaking on fighting the good fight, this week we had something great happen...we had TWO baptisms!!! Good times had by all. So my new companion is a really big chap named Elder Colindres. He is a big thick man but he is a good guy. We work hard together so I am pretty happy right now. But there is some bad news from this week too...the news is that I have been made a district leader...all my hard work to not get this position and BOOM! Pappy Dester has to go and do this. But I can't be too mad. Except for the fact that I am in charge of a group of eight 18 and 19 year olds. Great huh? Well I will keep you informed on how that all turns out.

So as for this week we have been just working really hard on trying to help really the members and so we will get back to the work and tear it up this next week. Sorry that there isn't more I will keep you updated more next week. Loves,

Mike

Photo Drop

The birthday soaking aftermath. We called it a draw.

Honduras, my area...boss!

Me!

The day we found a real life Hobbit House with tiny doors.

A birthday cake.

 My comp and our turtle, Raph.

My comp and an angry cat, Garfield.

The Report From the Fork in the Road, Ed 1 Sep 2014

Well fan club,

Another week has come and gone and I am yet here to tell you the most amazing/appropriate of my adventures. So to begin this week went like RIDICULOUSLY fast! As in way too fast. And yet so many great things happened this week. Where to begin...? Oh yes! So we went to work hard this week and have been helping all our amazing gators progress towards being baptized. So this Saturday we have 2 baptisms! They are all ready and stoked for it but I won't count my eggs just yet so you aren't going to hear more about them. But they are boss!

Well this week happened to be a great feat that I have accomplished. Yes folks this week I achieved the "YAY! I survived 22 years on Earth!" award. It was this last Wednesday. For all of you who voted that I wouldn't make it this far, I am ashamed to know you. But as Christ's Gospel teaches there is a time to repent. And that time is now. I will be expecting your boxes of "I am sorry that I doubted you" in the mail within the week. But on this Wednesday we did what every single person wants to do on your birthday, we had an eight hour meeting with our boss. Yeah...fun, right? SO this week we had a meeting with el Elder Alonso who came to capacitate (not sure what he means by this) us. Best part, it was EIGHT HOURS LONG. And the worst part is, well you all can guess I am sure. SO it was an amazing time and we learned a whole lot about saving the lost souls and bringing them in unto the fold. Really great. Only el Elder Alonso has a very direct teaching style. He is straight to the point and doesn't care if you get trucked in the way. Learned a whole crap ton from that meeting. I learned that at about hour three if you look out the East window you will see the very top of the mall from el Benque. Yeah it was a long time. He did drop some hammers on some certain traits that he isn't too fond of that some missionaries have. And at the end the part I loved best was when our mission president got up, Pappy Dester as we fondly call him, and shared what he had been thinking about. He is just such an amazing man. Every single time that he talks I can feel the love that he has for our Savior and us. Just amazing. Mark my words, Pres. James Dester will be an Apostle one day, just wait. And yes for all you other missionaries I throw out this challenge...well MY mission president can beat up your mission president.

On a less childlike note, after the meeting we had such a great time. So we went as a district to McDonald's to get an ice cream treat. Well our DL, Elder Bingham, is one quarter Korean. Well we were there eating when in walked this REAL Korean family. Bingham was like a little kid in a candy store. Now I know what you are thinking, he totally goes up and talks to them. Well you thought wrong. He was too scared to "talk to REAL Asians" so after hounding him, he finally got the nerves to get up and talk to them. His tactic was a little different but he gets points for creativity. So he went and after a little dance to be in the way of the Korean girl so she couldn't throw away her trash, he talked to her. Well seeing as how he doesn't speak Korean and she doesn't speak English, this awkward distant relative reunion was in Spanish. It consisted of "Hey...you're from Korea, right?" "Yeah..." "Oh, cool! Well see ya!" Just the definition of awkward.

The rest of this week was just as great as we got back to work and just ran into some really...unique people. Like one man who told us that the church he was in was founding, get this, BY Martin Luther (the German monk) IN Honduras, 200 years BEFORE Christ. We just sat there and stared at him for a good long while. Then we just walked to our other citas that we had. Another thing that happened was that we ran into this gay clown guy who was hitting on my companion. This was a new thing for my companion and so his face was priceless. Just priceless. Hahahahaha! Nothing better than a gay clown hitting on you in another language. Just indescribable.

Then what other things happened...oh this family gave me a birthday dinner of rice, beans, and tortillas...I just know that my father is dying laughing right now...and then turns out that they have a tradition of when it is your birthday they just attack you with water. I was thus soaked from an ambush of water. But in the end it was a hot night anyway so it was all good. I still managed to get revenge and attack them with water too! Winning I say, winning.

Well that is all that really happened this week. I will make sure to tell you if I have changes this week. I love you all and am super jealous that you have football season. Loves ya and see ya next week,

Mike